Thursday, January 7, 2010

Things videogames teach you.

Feel free to add to this list. Here goes!

  • An abundance of health or ammo means the games set on "easy"
  • You can't click past all boring dialog because the information is actually relative.
  • You shouldn't get angry when your toon gets stuck somewhere you shouldn't have been jumping on anyways.
  • Never get attached to any one type of weapon, you're limiting the experience and challenge most games are designed for.
  • Nerd rage is usually caused by human error but often directed at inanimate objects.
  • Your neighbors think you're scary and that's why they refuse the check their mailbox at the same time as you.
  • Non-gamers will never understand how awesome Half Life or Bioshock are.
  • Doors can't be kicked open because you need to find the key, while doing that you're going to fight two bosses and get pissed off, save and try again later.
  • The chest is locked because it wants to drive you crazy, not that there's anything of value inside.
  • Falling damage is the most common type of death in WoW. Still want that achievement?
  • People who sing randomly over the mic are awesome, join them don't diss.
  • Sub-missions give you better rewards then main quest chains.
  • There's a reason BFG ammo is scarce, I didn't say it was a good reason...
  • Jumping constantly is annoying. Stop it.
  • Glitches and "Easter Eggs" are always priceless, even if sometimes they kill you horribly.
  • Game related T-shirt references will only be caught by the people you don't want to talk to.
  • Never let someone talk you out of a DLC, they're just angry they beat it already and want to brag.
  • Never trust someone who uses the " :p" or "=p" smiley.
  • If a game comes with more then one installation disc the patch is also gonna be huge.
  • Never give out your myspace \ twitter or blog info to a guildy.
  • Showing up 30 mins early for a raid, ready to go, will always end with at least three people being late, of those three, one will leave after 1 wipe and you'll spend another hour looking for their replacement.
  • Vent is important for strategy sure but its also nice to not have to type while you mash buttons in PvP.
  • If more then one person is interested in an item that's dropped, the person with the best gear will win the roll.
  • People who stand on top of mailboxes are actually AFK eating pizza.
  • Its not laggy because your computer "sucks" but because you have shadows /on
  • Dying because you were too busy looking at environment detail is a noble death.
  • Dying because you stood next to a wall and shot a grenade launcher is funny.
  • Dying because you wanted to beat the game wearing only boots should be an achievement.
  • But...Dying because you wanted to be a lone wolf in a co-op game is slap worthy.
  • Stealing health packs from medics that are on fire is just bad form.
  • Calling pyro's noobs as a spy only shows how terrible you are at being a spy.
  • Screaming about demo spam just means you should probably stand somewhere else.
  • "Camping" is a skill, get used to it.
  • "Dolphin Diving" doesn't work anymore, but keep going, its really funny with rag doll physics.
  • Just because a character does something in the games trailer, like hide behind a tree, doesn't mean it'll actually work for you.
  • A good sniper doesn't "hack" they just lead you a few feet.
  • Riding in a vehicle with someone you don't know can be scary, especially when they say "How I go?"
  • Loot everything and later, if you absolutely need to, delete and or drop the bent spoons, folded fabric and potions of night's eye.
  • "It's not running away--it's living to fight later"
  • Most games don't have falling damage from jumping off a cliff into water.
  • Most ladders are evil and will toss you off randomly.
  • Any game still using the "butt cramps" dmg engine is awesome.
  • If you can't fit through that open window, chances are because it would kill you, so move on.
  • Always count your enemies shots, plan accordingly.
  • Its not about Red or Blue winning, its about how crazy you can drive the other team.

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